“The original definition of courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” – Brene Brown

As a kid I became an expert at putting on a good game face – back then it was a survival mechanism but as an adult it’s an asset that’s served me well in business. Unfortunately I spent most of my life thinking it was a good thing that I could hold it all in. Proud that I could smile and laugh on the outside even when I felt crushed or defeated inside.

I have no interest in faking happiness or perfection, and yet, I know that the public windows into my world often show a rosy colored image. Instagrammed pictures of my kids frolicking on the beach. Status updates from fantastic trips.

Sure, those things all happened – but they represent such tiny peeks in to my soul.

Facebook is not real life.

Neither is TechCrunch. Or Pinterest. Or 99.9% of personal blogs.

Maybe I should repeat that.

Or turn it into a banner. Or wear it on a t-shirt.

I feel like shouting it from the mountaintop because I’ve heard too many friends say they feel inadequate because of what they see others doing or posting.

Online personas are just snippets of our true selves – often showing only the best, most palatable versions of who we are.

I hope you see through my walls, but if you don’t, then let me burst some bubbles: this past year has been one of the toughest yet – filled with incredible highs and lows.

Early in 2012 I decided to cut my losses and walk away from Glmps, after sinking a year and $30k of my personal money into the project.

We then sold our house, adopted an older child, moved across the country and completely rearranged our careers.

I went from being the breadwinner to closing down my marketing company and moving to San Francisco where we’ve become a single income household, requiring our family of 4 to dip heavily into the savings we’d accumulated over the past few years.

We recently turned a corner thanks to Nick’s sales but all year I watched our bank account shrink and my weight rise. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs – I turn to food, and am up 10lbs as a result.

Every day I feel the pressure of making things work since it was my decision to move us to one of the most expensive cities in the country so I could pursue my dreams.

Since the kids and Nick have made so many sacrifices I often feel compelled to keep up “the show”, even at home. That worsens the loneliness and makes it harder to let my guard down to admit my insecurities about being able to consistently achieve the high bars I’ve set for myself.

Getting things off the ground with my new company has taken longer than I’d hoped, which is to be expected, but it’s no less frustrating or painful.

I haven’t talked about the process much on Facebook or Twitter because it feels awkward posting, “At 4am I woke up on the verge of a panic attack wondering if I’m out of my fucking mind for risking everything to do this.”

The answer in the silence is always: “Yes, you are – but you’d hate yourself if you didn’t go for it.”

I have no regrets and we’re surviving but it’s a high stakes game when your family’s future is riding on your success. The wiggle room for failure is minimal.

Thankfully I have a few confidants who have been through all of this and more, and I’m incredibly grateful for friends who let me peel off the smile and be real.

So, the next time you see a status update or a picture that makes you feel a little less – remember this post.

There’s always more to everyone’s story.